The waiting is driving me nuts. Let’s talk about this, shall we? I have waited for over three months to determine whether or not I will be considered a full-fledged attorney, with rights and important responsibilities, and all sorts of privileges (not sure what they are yet). So, why are the last 30 hours the most unbearable? I mean, I haven’t slept through the night for the past week, but I can barely keep my eyes open around 9 o’clock in the evening, because all this anxiety is making me exhausted.
I was having dinner with a friend, Heather, a few weeks ago, who has been through this exact experience, and she asked if I had a plan...a plan for what? Oh, you know, a plan for the day of the results. Of course I have a plan. Actually, the Judge I clerk for already has a plan. We are not allowed to go home before we check our results. Yup, that means I will have Mr. Judge looking over my shoulder as I scroll down to find my magic number. Heather suggested a flask. However, Mr. Judge has a globe bar, you know, one of those globes of the world that opens on the axis with a selection of any liquor within arm's length, to ease the pain or perhaps celebrate. Next step in the plan, stock the globe bar, just in case. Actually, not just in case, definitely, no matter what, the bar must be stocked. Next step, drink inconspicuously throughout the day. But don't hiccup too loudly. Then, by the time 5pm comes around, I won't give a damn about the results! Okay, sounding too much like a functional alcoholic, so we'll just fill the flask with grape juice.
I’ve prepared myself for the worst, and the worst isn’t too bad (if compared to all the atrocities in our world right now). So I’d have to study for the bar exam again, another few months and then take the test again. Hey, at least I would have already had practice. I remember someone standing in line after the morning session of one of the exam days saying “This is great practice for next time.” Wise words!
Now, hoping for the best, that’s where I’m trying to get to. Looking forward to a nice dinner with Mom and the rest of the family. Steaks I hear are on the menu. Then, we have a beautiful wedding to go to on Saturday night, where lots of bar exam takers who have passed will be present, and I won’t have to tell them any bad news. Then, before I go to work on Monday, I’m throwing out the books, the bar books, the ones that have been occupying the computer room, with papers everywhere, and note cards of one-liners teaching me the law. Cause heck, I know the law by now, cause I passed the bar exam…right?
Let’s just hope and pray to the bar exam gods…Let’s just hope I’m at the bar for the right reasons!