Kids Say the Darnest Things

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a Litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed His mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens." "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he Replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."

Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right Foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!"

On the first day of school, about midmorning, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to The bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from The back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery Store and began putting away the G! Roceries. The boy opened The box of animal crackers and spread them all over the Table.. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box Says not to eat them if the seal is broken," the boy Explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, Five, and Ryan, three. The boys began to argue over who Would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the Opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He Would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you Be Jesus."

A father was at the beach with his children when his Four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, And led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the Sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The Boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him Back down?"

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, Thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my Daddy says you're the poorest preacher we've ever had."