Greenies

Finally, another finished project.

To read more about this project, click here. I'm sending these to Noah today, because nothing is more fun than getting presents in the mail, unexpectedly. Here is my foot modeling the socks, so you can see the ribbing more clearly.

By knitting up both socks at the same time, I completely avoided the one-sock syndrome. When I was finishing the toe portion on the first sock, all I had to do was complete the toe portion on the second sock. I will never knit socks without knitting them simultaneously again.

As for my next project, I've already moved the majority of my yarn down to Charlottesville already, with a few projects at home to finish up. Since I don't have any yarn close by to call out to me while I'm working on another project, I'll be forced to finish up the incomplete projects I have lingering at home. Not a bad way to clean up shop! I do have my eye on another project I want to start very soon, but I am not allowing myself to begin it until I get a job in Charlottesville. This is because this project requires a lot of yarn and I will feel better about buying the yarn if I know that I will be employed in the near future. As for now, I'm on the last skein of yarn required for the Very Easy Ripple Shawl for my co-worker Brenda. While I'm hoping to finish the shawl by the end of the weekend, I'm not making any promises.

Cowboy

A cowboy walks into a bar, a few miles West of Brokeback Mountain, and, after two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. What the hell," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy,"What's the name of your 'willy'?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your 'willy'. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies'." The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.

So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'"

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because 'Quality is Job One'." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY, 'Like a Rock!'" And gives a wink.

Even more shaken, the cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my 'willy' is SECRET. Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN."

Friday Joke

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boatout. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true," she said. "But you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

One Finished Project, 18 million more to go

I finally finished My So Called Scarf. I love the pattern, but I am very unhappy with the yarn. At first, I absolutely loved it, and it was knitting beautifully. Then I started the second skein, in the same exact color, and it looks completely different than the first skein. Now, you may have to look real close to see the problem, but the right side is much more vibrant than the right side. It actually looks like two different colors.

I know it's variegated and all, but seriously, this is a little bit extreme. And for those of you who have used this kind of yarn, Manos del Uruguay, (I'm going to go out on a limb and say that anyone reading this has not used this kind of yarn because I know all two of you who read this), then you are going to say to me that the manufacturer of this yarn suggests alternating every two rows with a different skeins so this problem does not occur. Well, let me tell you something Mr. Manufacturer, I think it's silly to tell a knitter to alternate every two rows just so this kind of thing doesn't happen. I don't have time for that. That's too confusing. Yeah, I know you can just carry the non-active skein up the sides, but then things get tangled, and there's no sufficient zoning out while watching Law and Order if I have to worry about that. So, I've learned my lesson. I won't be using this yarn for a while, unless it's a project that only requires one skein.

Considering you can see the difference between the two by looking at a photo on the computer, imagine how startling the difference is when you see the scarf in real life? However, I've never been one of those knitters to frog the whole damn thing just cause the end result wasn't exactly what I wanted. It gives the scarf some character, and it certainly looks home-made. So, I'm keeping it this way. Now, just need to make a decision whether or not I'm going to gift it to someone...hmmmm...

The First of Many Firsts

This weekend we moved into our new home in Charlottesville. O.K., technically some of my furniture moved in, and Noah moved in, while I’m still hanging out in good ole Maryland until July. But there’s no need to get technical and all.

Both Noah and I have grown up with the belief that the kitchen is the heart of the home, the beating pulse that keeps mouths fed, smiles on faces, and brings families together. So there was no doubt which room was the first to be put together. Noah and I have inherited many of my father’s cookware and tons of fabulous finds from yard sales, and even young couples like ourselves are usually not as fortunate to have such nice things in a kitchen. We know we’re lucky. After the cabinets were filled and the refrigerator was stocked, we set out to prepare the very first meal in our home together. And of course, that meal would definitely include some grilling.

While grilling some burgers and sipping on wine in our beautifully lush backyard, our next door neighbor, Mr. D, came over and fulfilled every daydream I’ve ever had of the South! She had cut up some watermelon, and came over to the fence to offer some to us, you know the real sweet kind with the black seeds. I tell you, the Southern hospitality couldn’t have been more sincere, the quitessence of the South. I fell in love, I fell in love all over again with our decision to move to Charlottesville, I fell in love with our home and new neighborhood, and most of all, I fell in love with the new chapter in my life with Noah.

Me, Noah, J and Vade are eating the first meal in our home.

The Modern Version of the Birds and the Bees

A little boy asks his father "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. I upgraded my floppy to a stifffy and then your mother agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:

"You've got male!"

Tuesday Joke

My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, What the heck -- and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

When she said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" I said, "Great! Tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic! We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"

Then, she said "Oh, honey. There's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said......


(You're going to love this!)


"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack....... And...Both tests came out Positive!"

June MagKnits Issue

The new magknits issue for June is up. It has inspired me to seriously think about knitting a sleeveless piece. I like both Lux and Emily. My only fear is that it will take way too long, and I won't be done in time to wear it this season. Man, do I sound lazy and whiney!!

Also, I wanted to pass along info about a yarn sale. The Yarn Tree, a yarn store in Brooklyn, NY is having their May Madness Sale, taking 20% off on all merchandise. The sale ends June 4. Don't worry, you don't have to go all the way to Brooklyn, you can just order online. For details about the sale, click here.